If the Crazy Cat Lady action figure was around when I was a kid, she would have defeated the G.I Joes and killed off the heroic Autobots. While that particular cat-astrophe may have been averted, the world still remains in danger unless the Sky Diving Sigmund Freud action figure comes to our rescue and questions her about her mother. Or maybe the Shakespeare action figure will bom-Bard her with his quill and destroy her. If all that fails, then the Lunch Lady action figure will come to save all of mankind by shoving her food scoop very, very far up the Cat Lady’s mastermind pussy, thus ending the reign of evil brought on by cats.

And they all lived happily ever after but wished poor, tasteless and juvenile fan fiction didn’t exist.