Is this an ode to the late Michael Jackson? Maybe not, but I can’t wait to go music shopping this weekend to get Kula Shaker’s brand new album.

The release of Screamadelica in 1991 brought decadence and hedonism crashing into the pop charts. With Andrew Weatherall (of Two Lone Swordsmen fame) at the controls, Primal Scream transformed from a bluesy rock band into sonic pioneers of beautiful noise that you could rock and dance to.

While “Come Together” and “Loaded” probably received the most air play, I’d rate “Higher Than The Sun” and the 13th Floor Elevators’ cover, “Slip Inside This House” as the best tracks on this album. I remember reading a review back in the day that said that this album was ‘of its time, and yet timeless’ — there’s probably no better way to describe this ’90s classic.

A 192 page full-colour booklet of every sleeve design from WARP, two double CD albums (one of which is the user voted compilation disc), a mix CD, a triple and double vinyl box set for US$150 sounds like an unwise and guilty indulgence in troubled economic times. It sounds like great value but what a huge hole in the pocket this will burn…

I need more time to think.

After Karen O and Co’s awesome Show Your Bones, you would do well not to be too overwhelmed with the new album, It’s Blitz. Throbbing, pulsing disco synths sugar coat the music to the point where you will get instant tooth decay (as if it were). Save for the unexpected transition from great guitar rock to synthesizer dependent sonority, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs completely bring the house down with great melodies and Karen O’s voice. One of the highlights has to be “Heads Will Roll“, an absolutely infectious song that’s destined for the dancefloor.

Warp Records are asking fans to vote for the tracks they want to see in the upcoming 20th anniversary Warp compilation. I’ve already voted for Aphex Twin’s Alberto Balsam and Squarepusher’s Port Rhombus…

A couple of days ago, I did something which I hadn’t done since I was a 17 year old teenager — I went out and bought a new Guns N’ Roses album. Chinese Democracy went through 14 studios, burnt millions of dollars in production and was made over a total of 13 years.

Axl Rose’s voice is as piercing as ever and he sounds in stunning form throughout the album. The album sounds pretty polished and the production quality is just great.

But the album is a complete let-down. The album art is stunningly bland, despite the fact that Axl Rose had more than a decade to figure out how the cover could look like. The music sounds badly, badly dated: hair metal is dead, grunge has come and gone, nu metal/rap rock pushed some boundaries but Guns N’ Roses were probably in some kind of deep frozen stasis mode to even notice.

And for a hard rock album, the tempo is just horrid. There are just no fast-paced tracks to be found; just ballads and other pieces of cheesy, passable music that have minimal melody and are completely hook-free. After listening to the album almost 10 times, I still can’t remember enough to hum a damn tune from this album that was made by the band which brought us classics like Paradise City.

No, wait… the ‘band’ is now just Axl Rose and a bunch of contract musicians. This band should really have been called Hired Guns N’ Axl Rose. And they should have put this album out in 1996, not 2008.

Reviewing Chinese Democracy is not like reviewing music. It’s more like reviewing a unicorn. Should I primarily be blown away that it exists at all? Am I supposed to compare it to conventional horses? To a rhinoceros? Does its pre-existing mythology impact its actual value, or must it be examined inside a cultural vacuum, as if this creature is no more (or less) special than the remainder of the animal kingdom?

›› Chuck Klosterman reviews Chinese Democracy

I think I still have the classic Iron Maiden album Piece of Mind lying around somewhere on cassette. This shoe is presumably dedicated to that album and is presumably aimed at people like me who bought the album as a teenager.

Or not.

I think this might work a little better than the awesome wolf T-shirt.